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I don't know why people expect their parents to automatiy embrace step as grandchildren. Even stepparents sometimes have trouble with the process. Have you adopted your wife's daughter? No? OK, then the sexy want group sex lines are blurry, here. Something about the way you and your wife know how exactly how much your mom spent on gifts for the is a little creepy to me. And the fact that your new wife is demanding instant equity is a little odd. What about your step-daughters "real" grandparents? Did your wife's mother spend an equal amount on YOUR? It be that your mom simply doesn't know her new step-granddaughter as well as she knows her own grandchildren. Or maybe she's thinking that the step-gd has two other grandparents and doesn't need/want another one. What is their relationship? Merging families is an adjustment for EVERYONE, including your parents, who often find themselves "divorced", too, through no fault of their own, from people that they have grown to care for deeply. And now, they are expected to automatiy embrace a relative stranger as a blood relative. YOU need to sit down with your mom and let her know that her actions are affecting your family in a negative way. She was trying to be discreet, but it failed, big time. And your new wife needs to cool her jets, calm down and stop adding to the drama, here. $ in Christmas gifts from someone she's not even related to isn't enough? Jeez. However, you do need to up and talk to your mom, and let her know how you feel about your step-daughter, and how you want her to be considered an equal member of the family. And your wife needs to to have the same conversation with HER mother.

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