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To you, "Southern,Capricorn,Going Bananas,Gfunk,Huggies&Kissies" It's " -time," No i haven't had any babies plan to anytime soon (since it has been so long that i hardly remember what sex is like, and just dont have interest in "new" guys). I thought IF you read this MAYBE you would know it is meant for you. I dream about you, i really think i feel your , and sheets,and pillow (the ones we used to have.) The day i realized you were not nearby anymore,and i didn't search for you (i figure most stuff online is BS so if i talked to you or saw you in person ever again, we would talk then) i felt lost and a bit crazy. I have been to hells and back since the last time we talked. Whenever that was. I have spent years cursed with ailments and pain and fear and and ungood guys. Sort of opposite of what i felt we had. Okay, VERY opposite . I have so many birthday letters i wrote and never sent to you, i never tried emailinh you really, i think of you every Christmas and i remember you are the only one i have woken up with and said Christmas to. I remember the moment we met, the moment i saw your eyes, the time i was driving away and you . ed me and said you weren't ready for housewives looking sex Altoona Iowa me to leave. I remember our first apartment and i ed you and you said you were home, and it was our home, and i felt RIGHT. We were quite , we were inexperienced with much of the world i dont know we didn't even realize. It has been over ten years and i cane deny i wish we were together now. I still love you. I think you hate me, i am so sorry. I am so sorry i didn't understand what was happening to me was so bad and i didnt realize till a couple years ago it was um... . And iam not making excuses. I feel i betrayed you, like you feel our years were wasted and i wasted if not ruined part of your life.. There is sooooo much more to this. I really wish i could tell you. I HAVE to tell you. I don't know where you live now, or what you are like, what you look like, if you even care enough to give me any time of yours again.. I know you aren't my " " anymore but i keep wanting " time" or "talky time" or "real time" with you. If at all posible. Maybe we have answers/questions that we need to know. I hope you haven't deleted me from your life. I feel like Ulysses or someone and i have been seen...too much sincd after youu, and i am back "home" again. but i am so alone. I worry if u are alright. I wish i could "re-meet" you now. And all the silence or bad things, confusion, pain, , tears, sorrow, losses...we could let stay past. I know you are part of my past but sometimes people from our past come back and that is when we know what our lives should be, will be like. I miss you, you probably know more than i think yoh do about me but not necessarily the right things that few know. You probably know how to reach me offline (i prefer) if so, i really feel i have to see you and talk or my life is confused and needs balance. We used to be very symbiotic, i need that kind energy of yours again. If that makes sense. I don't mean sex or etc. i mean who you are, i am sorry for any pain or upset i caused for you. I never meant to. I wonder if you dream the same ones i do, about us. I pray you understand me. I hope you are doing good,being good, honestly good, i will be dreaming of you but i think direct communication is more practical. :-)

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