Single Girls Need Not Apply
If you are 100% happy in your marriage and are definitely not going to cheat on your husband, then this message is not for you. Stop reading now. Also, if you have an "open" relationship and your husband knows all about this -- I'm not your guy. Finally, if you're responding to me because he did something that made you mad (I don't care what it is), please do not respond to this ad. I'm not your guy.
If you're still with me, then I want you to please consider this message carefully.
Please don't think that you can just respond to this ad and get laid while your husband is out of town. First of all, this is a lot more than just a one night stand and secondly, I'm not that easy.
OK, GOOD, you're still with me. Now, let me tell you a little about what you're getting into. First, a few preliminaries: I'm divorced with no kids and I've been divorced for a decade. I'm smart, friendly, and financially sound as well as reasonably good looking and fit. I am not involved with anyone yet, but I'm pretty much a one-woman-man and will stop looking when I meet the right woman. I've had two serious relationships since my divorce and I regret not marrying at least one of them. I'm a good guy, but it just didn't feel right. I live alone, but I have a lot of good friends here and around the country. In other words, discretion is important to me, too. I'm a professional, in good health, and I prefer non-BBW types.
Why am I looking for a married woman? A couple of years ago, I had a very satisfying relationship with my personal assistant: a very sexy married woman in her early thirties. It lasted several months before it ended -- she's still happily married, but now I'm hooked. Second, I like discretion. Third, I think the sex is so satisfying to a particular type of woman who gets off from being bad. Fourth, if you're brave enough to execute on this, then maybe you're brave enough to execute on your deeper fantasies.
As you can see, I'm not looking for just any woman. You have to be smart enough to manage the risks that come along with an affair. If you want to be caught, then please don't respond. Instead, if you really enjoy the special treats that come with a love affair, then you'll appreciate my deep respect for women and will like the way I treat you.
Imagine that we meet in Barnes and Noble and I begin to hit on you like you're a stranger. "Can I ask you a question?" I say. You look up from your book and nod, making sure that I can see the big diamond on your finger. "Is kissing cheating?" I say. "I think so," you smile . . and on it goes. (Why are we doing this? Because you like to flirt. You like to be noticed in public. You like to be hit on by a good looking guy. If it turns you on and makes you wet, then I like it as foreplay.) I pick up a book and make small talk about it. I take a hotel room key card and slip it into the book like a bookmark and put it back on the shelf. I ask you for your number and you decline because "you're married," but I can tell you want to give it to me, and that totally turns me on. I tell you where I'm staying and what room I'm in, "in case you change your mind," and I walk away from you. You wait a moment, and then pull the hotel key from the book, buy yourself a cup of coffee, and decide to drive straight to my hotel because it feels so good when I'm inside of you.
Of course, I don't know you or what you're like yet, but if you enjoy the experience of an affair, then you'll definitely be interested in meeting me somewhere safe to see if we click in person. After time, I'll get to know you and then I'll know whether I should shop at Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood for you. I'll know how to make you cum in my mouth. I'll know when to roll you over and when to let you climb on top. I'll know when to bring wine, when to bring champagne and when to bring chocolate sauce. I'll know when to rip your clothes off and when to let you take a nap on my couch. I'll understand your boundaries and which ones I can push and which ones you want me to push.
Can you see yourself in a deeply satisfying affair with a man who respects discretion? Still reading? Good. If you're interested in corresponding with me a bit more before meeting me, then send me an e-mail and let's get started. But, as much as I like corresponding with potential lovers, I am ultimately looking for a face-to-face meeting with one woman in a comfortable, safe environment.
I don't need your picture (I understand your need for discretion), but you have to be honest about your looks and body type. If I show up and you're fifty pounds heavier than you described yourself, it's not going to happen. It's not that you have to meet some pre-defined image in my head, but lying to me about your looks is ridiculous -- it guarantees that the meeting will start off on a bad note. If our relationship will ever be about anything, it's this: trust. That might sound ridiculous because I'm looking for a woman who can cheat on her husband smartly, but if you're the right woman then you understand what I'm saying to you: it will only work if we can trust each other.
After trust comes respect. I will always respect the fact that you have to protect your marriage and you have to be discreet and you have to be careful. I need you to respect that I need you on a regular basis. It doesn't have to be every day, it doesn't have to be every week. It just has to be regular. I want something I can look forward to and plan for and shop for -- a regular meeting of our hearts, minds and bodies. You can set the pace, and there will be times when short notice is perfect, but I still want some kind of regular commitment from you.
Still reading? Then start writing.
- L
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