White Elephant Here May we talk about the white elephant in the room? Yes, we all know what I'm talking about. I have a penis. I do have pictures of said penis but hold them close and only after learning about your wants will I show them. But trust me folks, there is a penis in my pants. I walk around day after day pretending as if my penis is not guiding my every move and I can't take it anymore. I initially assess a woman based on whether or not I would want her interacting with my penis--whether or not I want to see her smiling face when I put my penis inside of her, whether or not I want to feel her hands and/or her mouth on my penis, whether or not my penis gets hard when I steal a glimpse of her rear end, or when I imagine the sight of her nude or the feel of a handful of her breast or the wet taste of her. Is this wrong? "Yes!", you scream. Fair enough. Goodbye. Thanks for hearing me out to this point. What? You're still here? Well. Should I go on? Okay, I will. You see now that here I am on on the basis of---you guessed it---my penis. Now listen, just because I'm all out of the penis closet, so to speak, that doesn't mean I'm going to you over the head with it (neither physiy metaphoriy). If you respond to me, I will not send you a digital of my penis (unless we are in agreement). My penis is really not a conversation piece, though if you have any questions I would be glad to answer them. If we meet, I promise that my penis will remain firmly in pants until its appearance is warranted. Actually, at that point I'd prefer that you be the one to usher said member into the fresh air (and into your hands). But please remember, I do have a penis. Where the hell am I going with this? Well, I'd like to meet a certain woman who, in fact, considers my penis essential. It really has a number of uses I think you'll find delightful. And it very patiently waits, biding its time while we're otherwise engaged in pre-penis activities. Hopefully--and isn't that why we're here on ?--an exceptionally pleasing penis party will begin soon thereafter. PS: My penis really likes vaginas! PPS: Full disclosure-"white elephant" is just a metaphor; (I am a white man, after all) But larger than most
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