RE: Pathetic This is in response to the person who posted the "Pathetic" ad, and for everyone who read it. For those who don't know what I'm talking about, I'm going to reproduce the ad at the bottom. This is for every lesbian who was confused about her sexuality and thought she was attracted to men because she had been sexually victimized as a , or because she grew up in a culture or household where falling in love with a woman was unthinkable, or because she had been taught that "attraction to" and "objectification of" are the same thing and she never wanted to do to another woman what was done to her. This is for every lesbian who was with men because she had no where else to go, or no one else who seemed to love her, or no other way to get money. This is for every lesbian who isn't sure whether to say, or adamantly refuses to say, that she was with a man because whatever THAT was that he did to her...THAT wasn't sex. This is for every lesbian who never thought she had a chance or a choice, who took what she thought was the safe or or only and then found out it was a trap. This is for every lesbian who can tell you in excruciating, painful, personal ways how "compulsory heterosexuality" is a thing. This is for every lesbian who didn't have fresh fruit growing up. For whom the "grocery store" was the corner convenience market, whose parents may or may not have been around, or whose only had uniforms because they didn't want to wear colors. This is for the lesbians who grew up knowing nobody around them expected them to be anything of importance, because "important" was for white boys who went to college and who got to be the of every story. This is for the lesbians who love women. The lesbians who actually love women, and know that we have all been through a lot, and that none of us come to relationships without scars. The lesbians who actually love women. And maybe our backgrounds are different and we don't have a lot of shared experiences or a lot to say to each other, but this is for the lesbians who would never a woman because of her background, or because of how the world has been cruel to her, or because of how long her journey has taken her or what fires she had to come through to get to this point. This is for lesbians who have been ed uneducated, low class, simple-minded, fake; who have been criticized because of their weight ("HWP! No BBW!"); who have been told not to respond to ads because of their race ("Just my preference!"); who don't go to lesbian meet-up groups because too many of them meet at bars and restaurants; who have or don't have or wanted or never wanted and isn't sure how to feel about any of it because it doesn't fit with somebody-or-other's narrative about how their life should have gone; who thought she was straight or thought she was bi or never thought she was anything but a lesbian. This is for every lesbian who has to deal with people who say those things...which probably amounts to just about every lesbian. "The kind of person you are" is awesome and worthy of love, and anyone who says otherwise can piss off. --- The original ad "Pathetic" follows: "There are some seriously miserable women on the DMV women 4 women board. They're flagging ads simply because they don't meet the criteria that the poster is looking for. How pathetic! Some women actually have standards, and we aren't interested in being with uneducated, low class, simple-minded, single mothers who now claim to be "lesbians," but have obviously been lying down with men on a regular basis considering you made your the old fashioned way. Flagging the ads of women who are above your level and have no interest in you does not change what kind of person you are. Now go ahead and this one as well."
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