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a thousand false idols, not a single one of them true Sometimes the fall becomes flight
Sometimes you get hit sidelong
Go from soaring to descending the Earth
Like a falling star
Sometimes life mercifully gives you something back
For all your blood
Existence seems to upturn itself awhile
There is at last electricity inside as new neurons war
And some stupid person no different then all the rest
Has made the mistake of looking at you
Kissing you maybe
Noticing you impossibly
In this wide world
With all these faces
As I look at all my talismans
These trinkets of a better life once I lived
They are all anachronisms
To a woman that doesn't exist anymore
To a man that doesn't exist anymore
A girl I used to love
A man I used to be
I ought to throw them all away
Cast all of it to the fire
But I belong with adult seeking casual sex South whitley Indiana 46787 these things
Even in a different time
Even in the wrong time
For they are me
And I am them
I realize with acute knowledge
That I am an anachronism, too
What do I do then?
Throw myself away?
The longer underwater I tarry without breath
The more I want to live in spite of all the world weighing on me
I feel sick
I feel fevered
I have no cold
The sickness is me
So is the madness
I am ugly and mangled
But I don't look it
It's somewhere deep down
At the center
Where divinity and Hell
Vied for my soul
With a war that showed no mercy
So here I am
Surrounded by memories
Numb from an empty present that has no future
Remembering remembering remembering
Some stupid, ancient past that has no place in my life anymore
A love that once promised not a future
But all the futures
I never thought it would come to this
I never thought those neurons would go dark
That those lips that promised to love me
Here, now, and forever
Would kiss me never
She's more of a woman because of that
And I am less of a man because I don't turn my back
On my dreams
I don't shield my eyes from the monster
I turn to it and face it squarely
Let the wind have its way with me
Don't care if life or limb is lost in this cheap war
Tooth and nail
Tooth and nail
Tooth and nail
The hour is ere late
I, this man, am a late man
A late man, an anachronism
Here among the lying crowd that is sullen and tall
That lies and smiles, says it wants love
But fucks it away
Here I am alone prostrate in this war, wanting surety
And fidelity
Here I am with the wounds, the internal bleeding
From a broken heart
Smiling with blood on my teeth
Smiling as all that once made me a better man
Vies to nary and nary kill me

—
Words are forgettable
And meaningless
They can only do harm
All I ever wanted
All I ever needed
Was right here
In my arms
Depeche Mode
—
—
Words are weapons
Sharpen the knives
Fed on nothing
But full of pride
Look at them go
Look at them kick
Makes you wonder
How the other half die
How the other half live
Look at the faces
Look at the bells
It's hard to believe
We need a place ed Hell
INXS
—

I walk in this valley of humans with faces
Faces that smile
Everywhere I go everyone is smiling
Smiling and smiling and smiling and smiling
Til Heaven deliver me or the four horsemen ride
I see them smiling all around me
Smiling and smiling and smiling
All they do is smile
They smile and smile
And have no reason to smile
It makes me sick
It makes me angry
It makes me hate
It makes me twist the knife harder inside me
Somewhere a lion snaps bone
And I know how it feels
I lie buried alive in this world I never ever liked
The one thing in it I did is gone

—
Words like violence
Break the silence
Painful to me
Hits right through me
Can't you understand
Oh my little girl
Depeche Mode
—

I cannot love another
In this joker town
This joker life
With these joker peoples
I cannot love any of these things
I cannot love one of them
I cannot love any of these false idols
Not one of them are true
To me
Or to themselves
They threaten me with love and warmth and truth
But they have none of these things
They are shaped like Heaven
But their hearts are ugly and cruel and I am but a tool to them
I grate persistently against the skies
Against all accord
I walk on the sides of roads
I do not want it easier
If these glittering, glamoring plastic beings are the norm
Plunge me to the fire
Forge me longer
Burn all this cheap life out of me
For I have no taste for it
And I do not want it
I want love
I want stars
I am a soldier to a different life
I am an anachronism
I am ugly because I choose to be ugly
I am starved because I choose rather not to eat
I walk through the false idols and I glare unto the great and the faraway
And it hurts

—
I want you now
Tomorrow won't do
There's a yearning inside
And it's showing me through
Reach out your hand
And accept my love
We've waited for too long
And enough is enough
I want you now
My heart is aching
My body is burning
My hands are shaking
My head is turning
Can you understand
It's so easy to choose
We've got time to kill
We've got nothing to lose
I want you now
Depeche Mode
—

I am broken where it matters
I am broken where it doesn't
I am broken all across my person
I am broken in my soul
I am broken at the seams
DON'T PUT ME BACK TOGETHER
I want to be broken if it's not real
If my dreams are not real
If my heart is not satisfied
To Hell with my flesh
My flesh can burn far as I care
I've made a pyre of self-denial
It takes resolution to starve
To take it on the chin
I'm tired of being second class
Second rate
Because I don't want it like everyone else
Because I am this thing I was born to being
Deliver me oh stars from these earthen fates
Deliver me from vanity
From prestige
Deliver me from wholesome, vain, cheap wants
Deliver me from deities
That lie
Deliver me from this world I was born to
Which I was forced to live to
That I never wanted
That I still don't want
Deliver me truth out of this darkness
Make me want to live again
Or let me be
Let me be
I'm tired of me

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