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To the one who got away -- m4w Wednesday, August
(Repost)

(Gotta get this out before heading to Baltimore on Sunday. Writing can be very therapeutic, but you do yourself a great disservice when you don't write "in the moment". There is a world of difference between conveying your feelings and thoughts when you're neck-deep in a situation, and "reflecting" on the same circumstances after the fact. The luxury of hindsight can be a powerful deterrent to otherwise genuinely sincere writing.)

To the one who got away --

Names needn't be mentioned. You know who you are . . .


"Some things in this world you just can't change,
Some things you can't see until it gets too late."

We can't change the fact that you lost interest.
There's no going back in time.
That would only diminish what little we did share, anyway.

When you asked me to stay with you that Sunday morning, I should have stayed. I should have missed work on Monday, and again on Tuesday if you wanted me to stay longer. I would trade that amazing ride home -- it was akin to floating on a cloud: delirious both from lack of sleep and w/anticipation of what might lay ahead -- for a plane ticket and a few more hours worth of memories.

I have no qualm with looking foolish in front of someone I care about -- "humility is what defines a man" -- but everyone reaches a breaking point. My vow to stay in touch and keep the faith -- not so you wouldn't forget me, but because I didn't want to forget you -- was a last-ditch attempt at salvaging a shred of something, but alas . . . there really is no point in operating the lighthouse if the ship is never coming, is there?

You are surely a product of your environment.



You were, however, mistaken: you were not too crazy for me. I was too domesticated for you. I've been there and done that -- and while I think everyone would agree that you do indeed do it better -- you've never done what I do. Realize that at this stage in your life you CAN'T do what I do. You wouldn't want to even if you could.

I enjoyed your company immensely. It'll be tough to stay away when I visit your city, but I'm sure I'll manage somehow.

Tell your mind to let your heart know that my heart misses you and wishes you well,

--N

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